Rewards and life lessons

Like most mothers out there, I have those moments where I want to give in and say forget it, why do I bother...

THEN...

I try something new instead of giving up.

Today was one of those days that I walked out of the house telling my youngest that they don't deserve to go out into public because they are not being the children that I raised them to be.

When I walked back in the door I had a new law to lay down.  Everyone earns their keep.  Yes, even the baby.  The 15 yr old was the only one unhappy about this, but Aspie kids don't like sudden change and usually turn around, eventually. He did eventually get on board after a few hours. He now has the most amount of chips, since he always has to be the best at everything, I knew he would be racking up chips to save for the rest of the week.

So this is the plan and supplies:

1 white board.
A set of varying poker chips.
Set of bags or Jars for each person to keep their earnings.

On our white board, we list what the things you can buy are.

1 black chip is housing for the week.  The way someone can earn housing is by doing their schoolwork all week.  If they do not earn their chip for the week, they will have to sleep outside, no leaving the yard to someone elses house. Tent is optional, but we have one that we can put up should we need to.

The remainder of chips can be earned by doing an assortment of chores.

The sample list of chores:
One load of laundry in wash.
One load of laundry to dryer.
One load of laundry put away.
One load of dishes.
Cooking a meal for someone else.
Sweeping.
Mopping.
Changing baby diaper.
Toys away.
Your list may vary depending on what ages your children are, how many chips you may need to hand out in a day, and the willingness of them to get on board.  (smaller tasks to earn more chips to get them motivated may be needed just to start off)

Our chip board (white board) lists these needs that we have to buy:

3 green chips can get turned in for 1 meal.
2 blue chips can be turned in for a shower.
1 red chip for entertainment.
1 red chip for clean outfit/laundry.
1 red chip for transportation.
1 green chip for a snack.

The way we dish out the chips is depending on what chips they have.  For example, the kids require food, so they must earn all their chips for the meals for the day before they can earn a shower chip.  Once they have earned their meals and shower,  they can earn their entertainment. 

According to Maslow's hierarchy , we need to feel secure in our safety/shelter, be fed, and good health (clean body) so we earn those before anything else.  We need to belong and have self esteem, so our entertainment is paramount, family time, games, and friend time are super important and are earned before clean laundry.

My husband said that laundry should come before entertainment, but there are many people out there can can be happy and survive well in the same old clothing day after day as long as the other needs are met, so we have chosen to keep it this way.

Transportation is more of a want, so it's put near the end.  My children can safely walk to and from school, and get to where ever they need to go, for the most part, by using their bike or skateboard.  Should they choose to have a ride when the road gets snowy and cold, they will see this as more of a need, so it stays on our board all the time.

The kids have chosen to make snack as a 1 chip item since it is not a need, but it is something that is desired every day after school and before bed.

Your board and rewards are going to vary according to what you want your kids to accomplish and what life lessons you are trying to get them to understand.

For us, this reward system teaches them the value of getting their needs met with hard work, getting their wants met with hard work, and the value of living in a house where we all take care of each other all while respecting the system of "money" and how we exchange for what we need/want.

People are going to say that their kids are stubborn, will starve, won't clean, or will other wise ruin the plan and I will say, that is when you need to hold firm.  Your children will not starve themselves, it is a basic need that is there from birth and we will always do what we need to in order to eat.  Your children will eventually get so dirty that they want to unslime their tiny bodies. For those that have some of the most stubborn, 1 tent going up and a sheet and blanket being placed inside will motivate the toughest of cookies.

Part of our unschooling life was based on being able to meet our own needs and being respectful of those around us in our household, and we are trying to maintain that sense of belonging and togetherness and independence and importance now that the kids choose a public school life.

I believe that this is a great start as we are expecting them to not only take care of their own needs, but helping those around them.